Sparta June 8, 1854

Beloved Mary,

I very unexpectedly received your favor of May 30 this morning. I inquired when the mail came in from Pikeville with anxious hope. I could scarcely believe, when the Postmaster announced, "no news for you". I went away almost sad. This morning the McMinnville mail brought the long looked for letter. I will not speak of the pleasure it gave. 

I fear that you have already been disgusted at my love sick tales. Doubtless, there has been a want of modesty in my writings. I am persuaded, however, that there is a heart capable of excusing or pardoning any faults. If loving is a crime, then, I beg to be forgiven. But is it wrong to love? If so who can refrain from evil? You reprove me for loving. Well, Mary, if I have done wrong you of course will forgive. That you may excercise forgiveness to a proper degree I hope you will turn to Luke 17:4. Mark what the 4th verse requires. Can you forgive me seven times in a day? Pray for an increase of faith, for your faith will be tested. If my loving you offends you, I will not only offend you seven times in a day but I will offend you all day.

I wish that my circumstances were such as to promise you more pleasure. We shall have poverty to contend with, but I have confidence that a lady of your spirit will not be cast down on account of this but will cheerfully look forward to the better time coming. Give me health and the blessings of God and I fear not the consequences. We may never be rich but we shall have a sufficiency. We may not be honored but we shall be respected.

I have been thinking how we would commence living. I would much prefer to have a home of our own. I have been looking around with that view. I do not now see any chance for making such arrangements. I am unable to buy property; and if I was able it would perhaps be imprudent for me to purchase under the circumstances. There is no property to rent at this time. It rents very high any way. I think it will, perhaps, be as well to board at Capt. Mitchell's for a while. Don't you think so? I want to receive a long letter from you soon. I hope you will take a larger sheet and do away with formalities.

I know what you have been thinking. You deny reproving me for simply loving you. It was, you say, because I was "melancholy". Perhaps I conveyed a wrong idea. I was not more Sad than usual. I was thinking, and wished to tell how largely you entered into my hopes of future happiness. I am not very good at drawing dark pictures. I sometimes think that I err in promising myself too much. I am not "sad" without hope. I am "miserable" only relatively speaking. I am as happy as the circumstances will admit. I am only discontented in view of a more happy state. My sky is clearer of clouds than ever before. I have left behind me difficulties that once reared their heads before me like so many mountains. I have been blessed beyond my expectations. In retrospecting my brief journey I am contrained to glorify God for the success which has been given to my humble efforts. I can also confidently trust in him for the future. You are no doubt wondering what it is that I have accomplished that I esteem great. Well, I'll tell you one thing. I have secured the affections, I trust, of you. O that I were worthy of the love of such a one.

You have not made out the order of the proceedings of our marriage celebration. You have not said where we would be married - whether or not we should have waiters - if so who? - who shall marry us?" etc. etc.

I have been thinking about coming out to your place on the fourth day of July. I desire very much to see you. It may be best for me, however, not to go out till the examination in order that the surprise may be more perfect. Do the people dream of such a thing at Spencer?

I will go or stay according as you think best. Write as soon as convenient. I suppose you are tired of reading my hastily written letter. I will not further test you patience.

As ever

W.J. Hill


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Transcription used with permission of Charles Massey.

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Transcription by Charles Massey.
Image by G. Anne Sloan